How do military families handle communication when a service member is injured overseas?

“I said, ‘Oh my God you’re alive, I love you, I love you, you’re alive,’” Raymond Jasper, 49, said. The whole incident has the Jaspers looking for some answers. “No family should have to go through this,” Robin Jasper said.

The script used Sunday began: “SGT Tyler A. Juden was killed in action while conducting combat operations in support of Bravo Troop 473 Cav.” It went on to say Juden’s family had been notified and services would be scheduled.

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The error was “not malicious” and came from a member of the unit’s family support group outside the Pentagon.

After reading a Facebook condolence entry from the family, SSG Jasper’s female friend telephoned his father to inform him that his son was alive. She said she’d just spoken to him on the phone.

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The wife of a Fort Carson, CO soldier learned about his death on Facebook. Now the US military is investigating how a Facebook friend passed on the news before the Department of Defense had a chance to.

Then SSG Jasper himself phoned.

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She found out from another soldier on her Facebook page asking her to call immediately that my husband was dead.

Taylor-Brown is a widow with two children. She said she was devastated and angry that she wasn’t informed by the military first.

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In this case, families were being notified of the death of SGT Tyler Juden, a 23-year-old from Winfield, Kan.

“I saw the look on his face, and I asked him, ‘Is Jesse hurt? How bad is he hurt?’” Robin Jasper recalled Sept. 14. “He said, ‘He’s dead.’ “He dropped the phone and we both hit the floor sobbing.” But it wasn’t true.

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The Army usually does not notify families of soldiers’ deaths by phone. An officer and a chaplain meeting with families in person to break the news.

A spokesman for the 82nd Airborne Division said Jasper’s unit, through its family readiness group, notifies all families of deaths within the unit to prevent undue worry and misinformation. Callers are instructed to read from a written script to prevent misinterpretation.

Ariell Taylor-Brown had just said goodbye to her husband via Skype hours earlier when she learned he had been killed in Afghanistan.

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“I wish he could meet him. His dad is a hero,” said Taylor-Brown.

“A female in his platoon. She told me to call her immediately and I was in front of my kids, and I completely had a breakdown,” said Taylor-Brown.

Ariell Taylor-Brown learned about her husband’s death in Afghanistan from a fellow soldier via Facebook.

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“She said, ‘I’m sorry to inform you that on September 12 SGT Juden and SGT Jesse Jasper were killed in Afghanistan,’” Raymond Jasper recounted.

Raymond Jasper was on a camping trip in New York State with his wife, Robin, when he got a phone call about his son, a soldier in Afghanistan.

Taylor-Brown says hours later, two soldiers arrived at her home, but she knew about it already.

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Most soldiers are warned not to release information on a fellow soldier’s death until next of kin are notified. Soldiers who break the rules can be ordered to a Court Martial.

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“I can’t speculate on how it was transmitted or how it was received,” Fickel said. The family liaison said she was not able to read the complete message before the call to the Jaspers was terminated. “It was the worst four hours of my life,” Robin Jasper said.

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Their son, SSG Jesse Jasper, 26, had not been killed. The Army says the incorrect news was delivered to the Niagara Falls, N.Y., family by mistake by a member the unit’s family support group.

The mix-up took place Sept. 13 when Raymond Jasper received an urgent message from the family liaison in his son’s unit, the 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C. The liaison the wife of a unit leader deployed with SSG Jasper told Raymond Jasper that she had a “red line message” that she needed to read to him verbatim.

Hi, I’m Jo. My best friend died 2 years ago today. My husband died 6 months later. So, I’m a depressed mess (we were married 28 years) and can’t shake it. Even my Brother is worried. Some days I don’t do anything, and avoid men cause I don’t want to date. Any suggestions? Thanks for reading.